Alphas Confess All Page 13

  “You’ve come a long way in a couple of days,” he murmured, taking the ends of the rope and turning her around again. He started weaving the rope around her, using the holes he’d left in the knots on her torso to make a design that bound her breasts.

  She sighed and let the sensations flow over her. Gideon and Reid kept talking but she let the words they were saying go and concentrated on what she was feeling. It was what she was supposed to do after all. They were teaching how to send her into subspace. She was finding that getting her ass all bound up kind of really did make her subby. It was like they’d found a button and pushed it to bring out this part of her that didn’t need to think constantly, the part of her capable of trusting and giving over.

  It was a nice feeling. So were their hands on her. They weren’t being careful about how they touched her. Gideon cupped her breasts when he wanted to show off how he was wrapping his ropes around her. Reid ran his hands over the globes of her ass to demonstrate how the rope there stabilized the whole design.

  And she felt it all, allowed herself to float on a wave of sensation and arousal.

  “How can you tell if this is doing anything at all for your submissive? I don’t like the idea that I’m boring her and I worry if I ask she’ll tell me what I want to hear.” She thought it was Master Joe asking the question.

  Jessica heard Reid chuckle. “I can smell her arousal from here. Trust me. If I tug on the rope in just the right way, she’d come in a heartbeat.”

  Now there was a plan. If Reid didn’t want to provide the tug, she could probably do it on her own. She was so aroused, it wouldn’t take long. Jessica’s muscles felt like jelly as Gideon turned her around again so she was facing the wall and her backside was toward the audience.

  He brushed his fingers across the rope that held her. “As you can see, my pretty submissive is now all trussed up and ready for some more serious play. This is an introductory design. It’s easy to learn and doesn’t take long. It can lead to more elaborate designs.”

  “And it’s perfect for a butt plug,” Reid explained. “The rope helps a newbie sub hold that sucker in and not get in trouble when she unclenches briefly and sends a well-lubed missile across the dungeon.”

  “Reid!” She felt her whole body flush with embarrassment.

  “Don’t think it hasn’t happened before,” Reid replied with a grin. “It can be truly dangerous. I remember nights when I had to be quick or I could get tagged by those suckers.”

  “Could I get a chair?” Gideon asked and immediately one of the Doms from the front row offered up an unoccupied one. He turned the back to the side of the “stage” and gestured toward it. “Jessica, if you would grip the back of the chair and give me a flat back, please.”

  “He’s going to paddle you now.” Reid’s eyes practically sparkled with joy.

  Those words should have had her running, but she was smart enough to know she would probably enjoy it. Over the last few days, she’d gotten used to trying new things, and it was with a breathless eagerness that she moved toward the chair.

  And gasped because the rope slid against her clitoris and sent sparks of pleasure through her.

  “Like that little knot, huh?” Reid asked.

  She nodded.

  Gideon’s hand gripped the rope at the small of her back and tugged sharply, eliciting a whimper from her. “It works a lot of ways, love. This is a very versatile design. Reid, this chair isn’t the most stable of ways to secure her.”

  “I’ve got it.” He swung a leg over to straddle the chair, weighing it down and placing himself where he could look into her eyes.

  It was incredibly intimate and she glanced down.

  “No, love.” He gently brought her chin up. “You’re connected to Gideon by the paddle he’ll use on you. This is how you connect with me. Let me see everything you’re feeling. Don’t hold back on me.”

  The first smack of the paddle hit her ass and she felt her eyes flaring. It moved the ropes, causing them to slide along her most private of parts, and tears welled in her eyes.

  Reid’s hands came up, cupping her face. “Yes, give it all to me.”

  He rested his forehead to hers as the smacks came hard and fast, blooming from pain to pleasure.

  She held on to the connection, to the sensation of being between them, and she’d never in her life felt so free.

  4

  “I thought I was supposed to mix and mingle,” Jessica complained as she watched Reid get dressed. She lay back on the big bed in her suite, trying not to think about what had happened the afternoon before. She could still feel Gideon’s hands on her, still feel the deep connection she and Reid had formed as he’d grounded her for Gideon’s discipline. They’d been perfect gentlemen since then, politely escorting her around. Just an hour before, he and Reid had shared a lovely dinner with her.

  “You mingled plenty at dinner, love.” Reid smoothed the cashmere of his sweater down. He studied himself in the mirror, carefully fixing his hair.

  “I did not. I talked to three people, all of them subs like me. Anytime a man tried to talk to me, Gideon suddenly found something important to discuss with him.”

  Reid shrugged. “We do a lot of business at these seminars. There are influential people here. I, for one, would love to be their lawyer on retainer.”

  “One of the guys is a stripper,” Jessica pointed out. “He takes off his clothes for horny bachelorettes. I scarcely think he needs a lawyer on retainer.”

  Reid turned and wagged a finger at her. “Shows what you know. Do you not read the tabloids? All of those scandalous boys and girls have a lawyer by their side. I think I would look good telling the press ‘no comment’ concerning my stripper client’s tell-all book. Let’s face facts, if one of us is going to be on television, it should definitely be me. With these pores, not even HD can hold me back.”

  She threw a pillow at his perfectly coiffed head. “All I know is I’m striking out. No one seems interested in me. All that stuff about a lack of female subs is complete bullshit.”

  Reid frowned and sat down beside her. He let his hand find her thigh. She didn’t think anything about it. He was a tactile person. “You’re beautiful, love. How can you doubt that?”

  She huffed. She knew she sounded like a brat, but she was so frustrated she couldn’t help it. “I can doubt that because I can’t get a date in what amounts to a sex club. It should be like shooting fish in a barrel, but my aim is off.”

  “Gideon wants you,” Reid pointed out.

  Jessica managed a humph.

  “He’s trying to woo you.” He gestured to the table that held a stunning arrangement of lilies. “Did you like the flowers he sent?”

  The card attached had asked for forgiveness. She could forgive him, but she wasn’t sure she could ever forget. The hurt ran deep. “I love lilies. You told him, right?”

  “I didn’t have to,” Reid replied. “He already knew. Can we talk about it now?”

  She was well aware Reid had wanted this discussion since the morning after her and Gideon’s personal Armageddon. Since it looked like she was going to be friends with Gideon again, it was probably time. “I suppose so. It’s been six months.”

  He growled to show his frustration. His hand played idly at her knee. He ran it up her pajama bottoms so they were skin to skin. “You’re the most frustrating thing. Do you know what he was doing the morning you resigned?”

  “Of course not.” She assumed he went into work and breathed a huge sigh of relief when he realized she was gone without a big scene.

  “You would if you had been brave enough to face him. But no, you had to give me your letter of resignation and take the coward’s way out.”

  She sat up, irritation flaring. “He made it plain…”

  “I’m talking now.”

  She settled back down. When he used that tone, she tended to do what he wanted. When he used that voice, she started to think of him as something more than a friend. “All right.�
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  “He was hurting. Anna had just broken up with him. It was so much worse than a broken engagement, but he needs to tell you that story. He was hurting. He was afraid, too.”

  “Of getting hurt again?” There was an empty feeling in her gut. She hated how jealous she’d always been of the blonde socialite Gideon had planned to marry. Anna had been everything Jessica wasn’t—slender, polished, sophisticated. She and Gideon had made a gorgeous, golden couple.

  “You don’t read the papers much, do you, love?” Reid’s fingers drummed against her thigh. “Everything would have been easier if you read the freaking society pages.”

  Now he was losing her. “Why would I read that crap? I don’t care who showed up wearing what.”

  “How about the lavish descriptions of weddings some people seem to love?”

  She reached out and grabbed his hand as she finally got his point. “Anna married someone else.”

  “Yes,” Reid sighed as though weary. “Anna Michaels is now the golden girl of Birmingham society.”

  Her heart seized. Tears welled in her eyes at the humiliation Gideon must have gone through. “She left him for his brother?”

  Reid nodded slowly. “Gideon hasn’t been welcome in his family since then. He wasn’t in love with Anna. Of that I am absolutely certain. But losing his family hurt him quite terribly. Even though they weren’t good to him, they were his.” He turned to her, looking her straight in the eyes. “I’m going to say the things to you I should have said then, but I was terrified you would leave me, too.”

  Tears welled in her eyes. She cupped his face in her palms. “I love you. I would never leave you.”

  She couldn’t imagine it. He was her best friend, her secret fantasy. Beyond any of that, Reid was the foundation of her world. He’d been that for years.

  “Never say never,” he muttered under his breath. “You left Gideon pretty damn fast and when you cut him out, you didn’t look back.”

  “That’s not fair. He wanted me to leave. He said he didn’t want me.”

  “Yes, I’m sure he said a ton of things that were awful and hurt your feelings. Did you think about the fact that it was completely out of character for him to treat you that way? Had he ever treated you that way before?”

  A sick feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. Gideon had never spoken to her that way before. Gideon had fired a contractor for being rude to her. Gideon walked her to her car at night. Gideon was a gentleman until that day. Now she thought about the desperation in his touch that night. He’d fallen on her like a starving man. “No. You know he was always protective of me.”

  “He was your friend. Why did you run away? I don’t want to hear that bullshit about making it easy on him. You didn’t run away to keep the peace. You ran away to punish him.”

  “That’s not true.” Except, maybe…

  Reid’s mouth formed a hard line. “Lie to yourself, but I know the truth. Love is hard. It’s not some cotton candy fantasy where everything falls into place and no one makes a mistake. We all fuck up. Did you love Gideon?”

  “Yes.” She’d loved him, still fucking loved him despite her better judgment. But he wasn’t the only one she loved.

  “Then you should have fought. I’m not saying you should have fallen to his feet and begged him to love you. But you didn’t even fight to save the friendship you say was so important to you. You didn’t try to figure out why a man who always treated you with love and affection would say something designed to hurt you. You dropped him and, as far as I can tell, you didn’t look back. Do you want to know what he was doing the morning you left? Gideon showed up with a huge bouquet of lilies the day you quit. He wore his best suit, with a tie and everything. When I gave him your note, he walked into his office. I didn’t see him for the rest of the day. He canceled everything and sat there staring at those flipping flowers.”

  “He felt bad because we were friends,” Jessica said woodenly. But now she was thinking. Had she been wrong to leave? What had been going through her head? She’d gone into full-on protection mode. She’d pulled a shell over herself. Had it been fair—to Gideon—to herself?

  Reid looked vaguely disappointed in her. “He felt bad because he realized how good it could have been. He went into a six-month funk because he knew he’d lost you. He didn’t love Anna, Jessica. He loves you. If you can’t forgive him, you need to tell him and let him go.”

  “That’s not fair,” she said, scrambling up. “Why do I get some timeline?”

  “Because I’m damn tired of waiting for the two of you to get your shit together,” Reid spat out. He took a deep breath. “Sorry. I’m a bit stressed. I shouldn’t have even opened this line of discussion. Gideon’s going to be upset with me. He has the right to tell you his secrets. Look, how about we shelve this discussion until tomorrow night. Gideon and I would like to take you to dinner. I scheduled something private. The three of us can talk, and we’ll get everything out in the open. You can’t make a decision until you know the whole truth. Can you do that?”

  He was staring at her intently, as though he could imprint his will on her. She nodded. She wasn’t sure what they wanted her to understand, but she was willing to listen. “I’ll go to dinner with you and Gideon. But I don’t understand why I can’t go tonight.”

  Reid got up and straightened his clothes. “It’s a couples only night.”

  “Orgy night then.” Maybe it was for the best. She had a lot to think about. “Fine. I’m probably not ready for an orgy anyway.”

  He muttered something under his breath that sounded like “never,” but he was all polished elegance when he leaned over to kiss her forehead. “Good night. I’ll come back later and tuck you in.”

  Forty minutes later, she stood in front of the window and watched the snow. It made pretty patterns on the glass. She thought about everything Reid had said. She thought about the way Gideon had patiently tried to teach her how to ski earlier in the day. She was never going to get past the bunny slopes. Still, it had been a wonderful afternoon. Gideon and Reid had been beside her every minute. When she fell, one of them was there to catch her. It made her feel so safe.

  What did they want to talk to her about? More than likely, they wanted her to come back to work. She knew from Reid that they’d only used temps to fill in, and sporadically at that. Reid had to do a lot of the day-to-day stuff himself, and it had to be driving him crazy. He was happier poring over contracts and arguing points of the law. Gideon was a complete loss when it came to organization. He had a brilliant legal mind, but he could barely find his desk in the morning.

  Could she work with Gideon again? After Reid’s speech, she thought she could. She’d missed him terribly. What if they could start over again?

  There was a knock on her door. She turned from the winter wonderland outside and walked across the suite. She opened the door, expecting to see Reid there.

  “Hi.” Master Erik stood in the doorway. He looked scrumptious in dark jeans and a black open throated dress shirt. He had a bottle of wine and two glasses in his hand. His brown eyes took in her pajama bottoms, tank top, and cardigan. She was painfully aware of the fuzzy slippers on her feet.

  “Hi. I’m sorry. I’m not dressed.”

  “You look beautiful, Jessica. I noticed your keepers are occupied with the festivities this evening. I thought we could spend some time together.” He held his hands up. “No touching, sweetheart, not if you don’t want to. Everything is up to you at this point. I only want to talk to you. We can go into the lobby if you prefer.”

  She smiled. This seemed like as good a time as any to experiment. “No, please come in. I’d like to talk.”

  Jessica watched as he walked into her suite and knew it was time to find out if she could care about anyone but the two men she could never have.

  “You know it’s going to be hard to be in a relationship with Jessica if you intend to keep her out of the D/s scene.” Reid looked over the large conference hall. It had unde
rgone a miraculous transformation. This afternoon it had been an elegant room; now it was a decadent dungeon. He’d made sure everything was perfect. All around him, scenes were being performed. He would love to walk Jessica through. She would get hot and bothered watching the play. When she couldn’t stand it anymore, he would flip up her skirt and give her the fucking she needed. It had been so hard to walk out of her room. He’d been patient, but it was wearing thin. Tomorrow night couldn’t come quickly enough.

  Tomorrow night would make them or break them. She would understand or she would walk away.

  Gideon slipped his arm around his waist, leaning in so he could be heard over the throbbing dance beat. “When she safely has a collar on, I’ll be more than proud to take her into any dungeon you like. Until then, it’s not safe. I don’t like her being here at all. That architect is too interested in her.”

  Reid bit back a laugh. His partner was entirely too jealous. It was something he’d gotten used to over the years. Gideon was intensely possessive. Erik, the architect, should be glad Gideon was on his best behavior or he’d find himself on his ass for even looking at their girl. “It’s not a bad thing. She thinks no one wants her.”

  Gideon threw his hands up in apparent frustration. “I’ve made it plain I want her. We intend to tell her we want a threesome with her tomorrow. We’re going to have our whole lives to show her how gorgeous she is. I’m not letting a bunch of would-be Doms paw her so she feels better about herself. You can’t expect me to do that.”

  “I’m simply telling you how she feels.”

  “I don’t get it.” A frown marred Gideon’s masculine face. “Does she not look in the mirror? I get an erection every time she walks in the room. What else do I have to do?”

  Reid rolled his eyes. “You do not understand women at all, do you? It’s all right. She doesn’t have a clue when it comes to men. Luckily, you both have me.”

  Gideon’s smile was wide. “Yes, you’re the expert.”

  “Well, I’m certainly the expert on you and Jessica. I admit that despite all evidence to the contrary, I haven’t had a ton of lovers.”