At the Pleasure of the President Read online

  Mad looked for something to say that would bridge the void between them. Something smart. Something emotionally intelligent that would explain the depth of his feelings and commitment to her.

  “Did you sleep okay?” Unfortunately, he wasn’t all that emotionally intelligent.

  She stared at him for a moment, as though she had to remind herself he was actually here. “Fine. I got up early because I’d planned to insist that someone take me shopping, but apparently the Secret Service grabbed my bag from Gabe’s house. It’s weird that someone else brought my undies. How about you?”

  He practically fell over in his haste to get closer to her. “I slept some. Not great because my mind won’t shut off, but my back isn’t screaming at me, so I’ll call it a win.”

  “I still can’t picture you roughing it,” she admitted, wrinkling her nose. “You’re not exactly a nature lover.”

  “I like nature, just from a distance,” he quipped, grateful that she was talking to him at all. He would happily make fun of himself in any way if it amused her. “Is anyone else awake?”

  She shook her head. “I guess they’re sleeping in. From what the Secret Service told me, they were up late, so you’re the only person not in uniform I’ve seen this morning.”

  He sat down across from her. “Security is pretty tight.”

  “Obviously not tight enough if you managed to sneak into Zack’s limo.”

  “Well, it helps when you’re working with the head of the president’s detail.” He didn’t want to talk about what had broken them apart. He wanted to talk about her and their child. He had a million questions. “How is the baby?”

  “She’s fine.”

  Mad felt as if his world stopped. His whole focus narrowed down to her and her words. Until now, the baby had been an idea in his head, something out of a dream. But Sara said they were having a girl. A girl was different. A girl wasn’t merely a baby. A girl was a daughter, a sweet feminine presence in his life he could love and protect and adore. A vision of a little sprite with tawny hair in pigtails whispered across his brain, the thought so sweet he could swear his heart clenched. “It’s a girl? They can tell so early?”

  “It’s not that early,” Sara replied as though she hadn’t just rocked his world. “I had a sonogram weeks ago. She’s growing at a good pace. There’s nothing to worry about. She’s going to be healthy and perfect.”

  “Of course she is. I’ll make sure she is. When this is over, I would like very much to come to the doctor’s appointments. I hate the fact that you’ve had to go alone.”

  “I hate the fact that I’ve done everything in this pregnancy alone,” she said in a tone that made him realize he’d walked into a field full of land mines. “I hate the fact that my daughter is going to get caught up in all of this.”

  He had to be so careful now or he would lose her for good. “I will do everything I can to shield her. I promise. Everything I’ve done so far has been to protect you both.”

  She sighed, giving him that forthright stare that never failed to pull him in. “I sat up a long time last night thinking about this. I get that you thought leaving was the best way to handle the situation. You were scared and you had this paranoid guy talking in your ear.”

  “Freddy knew a lot about the syndicate and what they were capable of.” He wasn’t sure what he would have done if Freddy hadn’t shown up that night. He might have called the police, then been in a world of hurt because the syndicate had long arms. “Freddy saved me that night.”

  Her head shook and a tendril fell from her neat ponytail to caress her cheek. The pregnancy had done nothing but enhance her beauty. Her skin glowed with health. “He fed into your every worst instinct. You had options, Mad.”

  How could he make her understand what it had been like for him? The world had crashed and burned that night, and it had been up to him to figure out how to make sense of it again. “I had to move quickly. I couldn’t do anything that would risk exposing our relationship to the public and putting you on the Russians’ hit list.”

  “I do understand that.”

  Thank god. Apparently she’d only needed to sleep on it. He reached for her hands. “I’m so glad you do. Baby, I’ve done nothing but think about you, worry about you. Miss the hell out of you.”

  She pulled away. “But you never considered just talking to me? Treating me like a partner, rather than a liability you needed to martyr yourself to protect?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  She huffed, a frustrated sound. “There was a simple solution. You could have called me and told me what happened. You could have called Gabe. We would have helped you.”

  “And have you threatened for it? Potentially be murdered for doing it?” Mad pointed out. “No.”

  “I’m not an idiot. I wouldn’t have rushed out to the press and given away everything. I want to protect my child as much as you do. We’d been careful about our relationship up until that point,” Sara pointed out. “If you had told me about Krylov’s threats, I would have been perfectly reasonable. I might have been scared, but I wouldn’t have been destroyed. But you chose to take what could have been a simple decision and turn it into a grand drama. You didn’t treat me like your partner, your equal. You texted me that you no longer cared. You’re damn lucky I have pride or I might have shown up on your doorstep that night.”

  How could she possibly think that way? “This wasn’t some college prank. I’m in the middle of a global conspiracy, and they’re out to not only kill one of my closest friends but assassinate my president. They can do it, too. They’ve already murdered Dax’s father, Zack’s mother, and Joy.”

  “So the smart move was to alienate all your friends and tell the woman having your child that you’re done with her?” Tears shone in her eyes. “I love you. I do, but I’ve realized that you don’t love me the same way. We don’t have the same view of relationships. If I’d been the one unfortunate enough to meet Krylov, I would have tried to protect you, too, but I wouldn’t have savaged you to do it.”

  He’d thought about it, thought about what could happen if she’d decided to be loyal to him until the bitter end. “Tell me you wouldn’t have tried to help me. I know how brave you are.”

  “Yeah, but I have more than you and myself to worry about. I have to protect my daughter. I would have been careful the same way I’m going to be careful now. I’m happy you’re alive, but we’re over. I’m going to ask you to think of our daughter and stay away from me. There will be an insane amount of press around you when the world learns that Maddox Crawford is still alive.” Sara placed her hand on her belly as she eased off the stool. “We don’t need that.”

  Mad stood in her path because they couldn’t end on this terrible note. “Sara, you can’t just walk away. You’re here with me. You’re involved now. Going back to New York isn’t an option. That’s another reason why I left so dramatically, as you put it. So you could just live and you wouldn’t have to hide.”

  “I’ve been hiding, anyway. I’ve been avoiding life because I didn’t understand how you could love me one day and find me utterly beneath your notice the next. Now it makes sense. Thank you. I can move on.”

  “Sara, baby—”

  “No. Don’t try to sweet-talk me, Mad. The truth is, you’re not a grown-up. You’re still living in this crazy world where it seems logical to do insane things on impulse. I can’t live like that. I have to think of her. Of her stability.” She caressed her belly as she placed her half-empty bowl in the sink.

  “But I love you.” He had changed, damn it. He wasn’t the selfish bastard he’d been for most of his life. She’d changed him. Loving her had made him a better man. “I love you both.”

  “I know.” She brushed a tear away. “That’s the hardest part of all. You mean that…in your way. But I need more. I’m going to go back to my cabin. When everyone else is up, we need to talk about where I should stay long-term. I’m willing to go into protective custody if necessa
ry. Like I said, I’m not too stupid to live. I’ll see you later.”

  She turned and left the kitchen—left him—but not before Gus approached. She paused, watching as Sara put distance between them as fast as she could.

  “I guess that didn’t go well. Are you okay?” Gus had always been there for him, one of his truest friends. He needed her now. She would understand and make him feel better.

  “No,” he admitted. “But don’t worry about me. Sara is the one who needs an ear. She thinks I left her all alone and…” Mad sighed, feeling like his world was caving in all around him. Then again, it was because he didn’t have Sara. “Can you please talk to her? Maybe take her some tea and listen to whatever she needs to say? I’d do it, but…”

  She didn’t want him anymore.

  “I know.” Gus’s eyes went soft. “Of course I’ll do it. I’ll even curse your name with her.”

  Gus grabbed the tea pot to make another cup of herbal tea for Sara. Morosely, Mad sat and watched, his need for coffee gone. He only needed one thing—and it looked like he really had lost her for good.

  Chapter Seven

  Morning light filtered in from the small gap in the curtains, but it was enough to remind Liz where she was.

  Zack’s room. She had spent the night in the president’s room and she was naked. She didn’t know what time it was, but everyone would be awake soon, if they weren’t already. They would know that she and Zack had fucked like bunnies all night. Well, “bunny” didn’t properly describe Zachary Hayes. He was more like a ravenous wolf who couldn’t seem to get enough of her, but that wasn’t the point. If she didn’t find a way to sneak out, their secret wouldn’t be a secret anymore.

  She rolled over, but Zack was gone. His side of the bed was mussed, an indention where he’d lain his head on the pillow. His side? He didn’t have one since the man took up most of the space, and he hadn’t apologized for it. In fact, he didn’t apologize for much of anything.

  After he’d had her on the couch in the office, he’d stood and hauled her to her feet. He’d straightened his clothes and let her fix what was left of hers—she’d managed to grab her bra and clutch her blouse together—then walked out of the library, past the Secret Service agent standing in the hall, like she and Zack had merely had an everyday business meeting.

  Nothing to see here, Agent Tall and Grim.

  If she hurried out of bed and into some clothes, then acted as if nothing had happened, she and Zack might be able to keep their privacy. After all, the Secret Service were notoriously tight-lipped. Their friends, however, were not.

  She needed to move, but every muscle was deliciously sore. Zack had been insatiable all night, as if he’d tried to make up for all the years they had lost. The minute he’d closed the door to this room, he’d been on her again, stripping off her clothes and tossing them aside. He hadn’t even waited until they reached the bed. He had merely shoved her against the wall and impaled her on his cock.

  On their third time he finally managed to make it to the bed, and even in between bouts, he hadn’t given her any space. He’d molded his body to hers, his hands constantly stroking her skin.

  It had been the best night of her life. Now, it was over. She had to face that fact and find the will to get up and pretend that she hadn’t briefly been the president’s lover. That she wasn’t more in love with him than ever.

  Apparently, Zack had made keeping their fling clandestine a little easier. He’d already gotten up and was probably out there with his friends, distracting them. She could sneak down the hall to her room and pray someone had retrieved her a bag from home. She would shower and join the group for breakfast, and likely spend the rest of her life trying to forget how good being with Zack had been.

  She forced herself to sit up and glance around the room. She couldn’t help but wince when she noticed her clothes were strewn everywhere. Well, except her panties. She feared they were still in the office where President Carter had probably brokered Middle East peace.

  She had to sneak in there before someone cleaned the place up.

  Liz was about to stand when the bathroom door opened, and Zack walked out with wet hair, wearing absolutely nothing but a smile. Her mouth watered at the sight. Mercy… Even if they had fifty years together, she would never get used to the sight of him in all his glory. If she’d thought he was gorgeous in a suit, she had no words to describe him in the nude. Sleek, powerful, predatory. Perfect.

  “What are you doing? Get back in bed.” He rounded the bed to her, looming close. The nearer he got, the more his cock engorged. “It’s still early.”

  She’d seen the clock. “No, it’s after nine. Everyone will be up by now.”

  “We’re not up.”

  Zack wrapped his hand around her nape, and she could swear the temperature in the room went up thirty degrees. Then he leaned in and covered her mouth with his. After that, she didn’t think anything.

  Heavens, the man could kiss. After the frenzy of the first two times they’d had sex, he’d finally slowed down and taken his time. He’d moved her to the bed and kissed her for what felt like a lifetime. He seemed obsessed with sinking his hands in her hair and melding their mouths together. His fingers twisted and gripped her, sending thrills of desire cresting through her.

  His kisses made her forget all her good sense, drugging her past logic. She found herself lying back, letting lust take over again. They didn’t have to leave their intimate world for another hour or so. Maybe they could even have the morning to themselves. They could always say they’d been working. After all, she would have to handle the press once the news that Mad was alive broke. None of their friends would question the need for a strategy around that.

  His tongue surged in, stroking against her own as he tumbled her back to the bed, his body covering hers. She loved the way he crushed her into the mattress. Her legs parted for him of their own accord. Or maybe he’d already trained her to spread them every time he came near.

  She hadn’t gotten her mouth on him yet, and she so wanted to spend time on his cock, learning its shape and feel and taste. She wanted to touch him, know that she could give him ecstasy in return.

  She heard a brief knock on the door before it opened. Liz gasped and scrambled to cover whatever parts of her body Zack’s wasn’t hiding.

  Zack didn’t move. He merely looked up. “I’m busy right now, Thomas.”

  Her heart was in her throat. There was a freaking Secret Service agent in the room. She was fairly certain she’d turned a stunning shade of red.

  “I’m sorry, sir. I’m unused to you being busy. I’ll let the team know we have new protocols.” If Thomas was embarrassed, he didn’t sound that way at all. “The vice president has called three times already.”

  “Please tell the vice president that I am busy and will contact him when I have time.” Zack’s tone was arctic.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “And Thomas, if anyone else tries to open that door, I expect you to shoot them. We’ll be out when we’re ready.”

  “Of course, sir.” The door closed, but the unexpected visit still reminded her yet again that there would always be someone hovering nearby.

  Zack started to lower his head again like nothing at all had happened. She could feel his cock nudging her, trying to find a way inside.

  She put her hands to his chest. “Zack, we can’t do this.”

  He tilted his hips so that his cock slid inside her, proving they actually could. Despite the fact that she was sore, her body responded, softening and readying itself for more of the pleasure he bestowed so easily and thoroughly. “We can do anything we like, and I fucking love this.”

  He started to thrust at a leisurely pace, as though he was satisfied with merely penetrating her. He was forgetting a few things.

  “Zack, everyone will know what’s happening if we don’t show up for breakfast. They’ll put two and two together.”

  He didn’t seem to care. He simply drew her hands over h
er head, pinning her. “They’re all good at math, Roman especially. Those Ivy League schools know how to educate. When we’re done here, we’ll take a shower. Unless you’re hungry now. Thomas can have food brought in. How do you like your eggs?”

  He was missing the point, but god, he wasn’t missing her G-spot. She could barely breathe. “Everyone will know what we’re doing.”

  “They probably do already,” he admitted, nuzzling her neck. “Roman and I were supposed to go for a run this morning. He showed up bright and early and I told him to go fuck his fiancée for exercise because that’s what I intended to do from now on. Not his fiancée, of course. You, but I think he got the point. I’m pretty sure Roman told Gus, and Gus is a horrible gossip. God, you feel good. Jogging sucks. This...this is so much better.”

  He was right. Lord, he felt better inside her every minute. “I didn’t think we wanted anyone to know. We agreed that we could only be together for one night.”

  He froze, his head popping up, his stare burning. His cock still filled her, utterly huge, not ceding an inch of her body back. “I never intended for this to be some one-night stand, Elizabeth. I told you to be sure.”

  She was sure how much she loved him, but the situation was more complicated than that. “Just yesterday you were shoving me away. And we can’t not talk about the fact that you’re the president of the United States. Everyone is watching you. We can’t have a fling.”

  “I’m not married. I can have a fling if I want one. Tell me right now if you intend to stay with me or not because I would rather not waste my time with a woman who doesn’t want me.”