Ours to Love Read online

Page 20

 

  London gnawed her lip. As tempting as that sounded, it would be a bad idea. She had no idea why Xander had insisted on coming along, but she was both glad he had and worried he could make more waves.

  “If you want to go, I’ll be fine. ”

  Xander frowned at her as if she’d lost her mind. “I’m not leaving you. I’ve handled him like this before. I know what to do. ”

  And she had no clue. Sad but true.

  “Thanks. ” She turned to Javier. “Lie down for me, please. ”

  “He’s going to be a bastard to deal with until he’s had a shower and a meal. I’ll get him in the shower if you’ll whip him up some soup in the kitchen. ”

  She nodded and turned away. Javier would probably feel more human—and be more like himself—once he’d washed away the drunk and put something better in his stomach.

  London made her way back through the house, then groped her way through the darkened kitchen until she found a light switch. As she illuminated the space again, she gasped at the beauty of the modern dark wood cabinets, stainless steel everything, and lovely Carrara marble counters. Everything in the house looked like it belonged in a magazine spread.

  It didn’t take her long to make Javier something. There wasn’t much to choose from. She microwaved some soup, made a grilled cheese sandwich, then poured a tall glass of water to combat his dehydration. Once she’d gathered everything, London rummaged through the cabinets until she found a tray on which to put it all.

  Loading it up, she balanced her way to the bedroom at the back of the house and found Xander waiting. The shower still ran in the background.

  He took the tray from her and set it on the dresser, then gathered her up in his arms. As he pressed her against that commanding, muscled body, she peered up at him. Her knees went weak. He really was gorgeous and smelled insanely good, too. A bit muskier than his brother. Intense. He kissed that way as well. No doubt he’d make love with that same relentless focus.

  Xander controlled himself, holding back the dark side she could feel straining against its internal leash. Even across a room, she was painfully aware of him, but when he touched her like this, she completely melted.

  She shouldn’t want Xander. He wasn’t going to stay with her. He’d probably never fall in love. But that was all right. He’d bring her pleasure and help her see possibilities. That was the most she could hope for.

  “I’m sorry about earlier, at Luc’s place. I didn’t mean to embarrass or upset you,” he murmured in her ear, kissing her temple, her cheek, angling toward her mouth.

  London reared back in surprise. She’d never expected an apology. Logan’s other friends had always depicted him as a playboy who jetted from one bed to another, and often bailed out his buddies from their scrapes with danger because he liked the edge. But the man in front of her didn’t seem shallow and adrenaline-seeking. He brushed his lips across hers, the kiss lingering for a heartbeat, opening up something in her chest, before he pulled away with a regretful sigh.

  “I know. ” London couldn’t resist filtering her fingers through his soft, inky hair. “It’s . . . complicated. I just started working for your brother today. He’d probably fire me for even telling you that. He was adamant about keeping you out of the loop about the business. ”

  Xander clenched his jaw. Something painful tightened his face. “He won’t fire you. He might say that, but . . . he’s just mixed up right now. ”

  London nodded. “Do you have any interest in the business?”

  “Absolutely. I didn’t have to get an MBA, but I did, thinking that I could be useful to my brother and the board of directors. ”

  Xander didn’t say more, but she could guess that Javier had shut his younger brother out long before now. While she’d like to believe that wasn’t the boss she knew, the first thing she’d realized about Javier, after she stopped staring at his beauty, was that he sought total and complete control of everything in the office. In the bedroom, too? Alyssa had already mentioned that Xander was a Dom, and London had done a few Google searches to get an idea of what that meant. But Javier seemed to fit the bill, too. The thought of being at either man’s mercy made her absolutely weak-kneed.

  It’s not relevant. Focus!

  London gnawed on her lip and got back to the subject at hand, trying to decide how much to say. Javier didn’t want Xander involved. But Javier might need his brother. Family, along with their love and support, could save a person. She knew that firsthand. Her parents had been there for her every step of the way after her accident. She might never have pulled through if not for them and the unflagging strength they’d lent her day after day, year after year.

  Since the brothers weren’t really communicating now . . . maybe she could help.

  “Javier might also fire me for divulging what I’m about to tell you. But he needs you more than I need this job. I want him to get better. ”

  Xander cupped her face in his hands and stared down into her eyes, into her soul. “Tell me. Help me to help him. I dragged him here to Lafayette against his will, hoping to find something or someone to make him want to live again without burying himself in work and vodka. I’m out of answers, belleza. ”

  Seeing Xander’s concern, his heart, London nodded, then explained Nick Navarro’s visit earlier and the resulting binge. Xander listened in absolute silence, but she sensed the shock rolling through his body. He tensed, shifted, his face gathering into a scowl.

  “Jesus Christ! An assassin? And Navarro didn’t even have a theory about why anyone would hire this bastard to kill Francesca?”

  “If he did, I didn’t hear that part, but did you know that she was pregnant?”

  Xander clenched his jaw again, his face stony with pain. “No. ”

  “Your brother lost a beloved wife and their child all at once. And after all that, he learned that she’d been unfaithful and—”

  “Is that the story Javier told you?” Xander scowled. “Because that’s an utter load of bullshit. They had a corporate marriage. It was a condition of a merger. Francesca was beautiful, but an annoying pain in the ass. Unless Javier wanted to talk to her about Prada or Tiffany, she had no interest in him. They were married six years, but they were more like strangers. ”

  “I never loved her. She knew that, and she didn’t care. ” Javier stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and his short hair finger-combed in inky waves against his scalp.

  London felt her mouth go completely dry. Wide shoulders bulged with muscle. The hard swells of his pectorals were dusted with dark hair that joined just at the top of his abdomen, bisected the ridges, then disappeared into the snowy white towel. She was dying to know what lay underneath.

  The moment she had the thought, London ripped her gaze away. Her boss was telling her something important, and here she was ogling him like an idiot. She jerked her gaze up to meet his. His deep blue eyes held a hint of mirth, but his stern expression made her wonder if she’d imagined it.

  Then his words sank in. He’d never loved his wife. Wow.

  “I-I didn’t know. ” She shook her head. “I just assumed because you’re so . . . upset that you must have been madly—”

  “No. ” Javier raised a brow as he stepped back into the bathroom and turned the shower off. “I thought it wise to listen to you two gossip about me so I’d know exactly what you were saying behind my back. ”

  His words made her feel two inches tall. “I’m sorry, sir. ”

  She dropped her gaze in shame. He’d explicitly asked her never to discuss anything with Xander, and she’d violated his trust on day one. She worked for Javier. He’d asked her merely to follow directions, not exercise her own judgment. “If you’d like my resignation, I understand. ”

  “Why did you tell him, little one?”

  “Because she’s worried about you, jackass,” Xander butted in.

  “I’d like to hear her say it, if you don’t min
d,” Javier said stiffly, then turned to her. “Is that the truth?”

  She still couldn’t quite meet his gaze. “Yes. You were so upset after Mr. Navarro left. I genuinely believe that family always helps during difficult times. I don’t know you well, but I’m gathering that asking for help doesn’t come easily for you. I believe Xander will always be here for you, if you’d let him. ”

  “You don’t know him at all, little one. Watch yourself. ”

  “Don’t you dare go down that road. I couldn’t have saved Francesca,” Xander snarled. “You know it. ”

  London watched, stunned and blinking, as Javier growled and charged his younger brother, all but bumping chests. How was Xander supposed to have saved the woman? Why were they both so angry? London didn’t understand at all, but she sensed they were getting to the heart of the matter.

  Javier bared his teeth. “You could have fucking tried. ”

  “You’re being irrational about this because it’s easier than dealing with your own guilt. You didn’t love her and you didn’t want to deal with her. Instead of divorcing Fran, you tried to foist her off on me. I might be a hell of a Dom, but she didn’t need a Master; she needed a heart. ”

  London opened her mouth in a silent gasp. Javier had given his wife to his brother? For what? Sex?

  She glanced at her boss, who wasn’t denying it. He merely clenched his fists and sent his brother an inferno-hot glare.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” Xander growled. “Fran self-destructed. That’s not your fault. That’s not my fault. She knew what kind of marriage this was and she still agreed. She made bad choices all by herself and paid for it. You can’t take the blame for her shit, brother. And I won’t, either. ”

  “Get the fuck out,” Javier snapped.

  “Fine. ” Xander gnashed his teeth together. “Do whatever the fuck you want with your life. I tried to save you. I tried to help you. I volunteered to work with you, to listen, to be your rock. You threw it all back in my face. You want to kill yourself with booze? You’ve made it clear that I can’t stop you, so I’m going to stop trying. ”

  Xander pivoted around and stormed toward the bedroom door. London knew, just knew, if she let the brothers separate like this, they stood a good chance of being estranged forever—and that presumed that Javier didn’t recklessly manage to end his life first. Her money was on him doing just that.

  “Stop it, both of you! You’re acting like children!”

  They turned identical expressions of gaping surprise on her. It would have been easy to buckle under the weight of those stares, but London stood firm. They’d both unwittingly given her so much just in the span of a few days. If she could help them find their way back to one another, then she’d consider the debt repaid.

  “I don’t have any siblings,” she said, forcing a calm note into her voice. “I’ve always wanted some. And if I had them, I would love my brothers or sisters no matter what. You’re one another’s flesh and blood. How much family do you have left?”

  Neither answered. The silence was telling.

  “Exactly. Is your pride so important, Javier, that you’re willing to alienate your only brother? You need to learn to think with your heart a little. I didn’t know Francesca, but I know women. If you didn’t love her and tried to give her away to another man for . . . whatever, I’d be hurt and do terrible things, too. ”

  “It isn’t what you think. It had nothing to do with sex. ”

  She raised a brow. “If you tried to make Xander her Dom . . . doesn’t that mean you were giving your brother command of her body?”

  The two brothers glanced at one another before Xander sighed. “It’s not unheard of in the BDSM community for Doms to have subs they never have sex with. Some subs want and need boundaries. Francesca could certainly have used them. ”

  Obviously. London wasn’t going to argue that.

  “When she was getting really out of control a few months before her murder, Javier suggested that I become Fran’s Dom. He had a contract drawn up, stipulating what I could and couldn’t do with her. Sex wasn’t included. I would have done nothing more than try to modify her behavior with a series of rewards and punishments, whatever the situation called for. ”

  That sounded a bit like parenting a child. “Were you going to ground her if she misbehaved? Take away her credit cards?”

  “I would have curtailed her outings for sure. I definitely would have taken away her credit cards when she acted out. Anytime she mouthed off, I would have spanked her ass red. ”

  London started, her eyes going wide. “Spanked her, as in your hand on her butt?”

  “For starters. But that kind of behavior modification only works when the person the Dom intends to top is actually submissive. It’s a power exchange. The submissive agrees to give the Dominant all her trust and free will. She can stop anything too difficult or painful with a safe word, but other than that, she’s handing all authority over her body and will to her Dom. Don’t frown. Submissives crave the feeling of being treasured, even owned. A good Master will move heaven and earth to keep his submissive safe, as well as nurture her body and soul. ”