Alphas Confess All Page 20

  The windows were dark and the signs still off. But that didn’t mean no one was around.

  Willow went around to the back and knocked on the heavy metal door. A moment later it launched open, nearly hitting her in the face.

  “Oops, sorry.” Jessica North grinned, not the least bit repentant. No one was quite sure how Jessica wound up with her fair skin and red hair when generations of Norths before her were known for their raven hair. “What’s shakin’, bacon?”

  “How are you this chipper so early? And why are you here this early?” Willow followed Jessica into the dimly lit bar.

  “I needed some peace and quiet. Besides, I’m trying to reorganize the storage room now while all the Christmas stuff is out and I can actually move around back there.” Jessica led the way to the oval bar that sat in the middle of the hundred-year-old building.

  Willow stopped and leaned against the bar where, five years ago, she would have picked up orders as a waitress while Jessica and her father chatted up patrons on the other side. This time, Jessica turned two shot glasses over and poured them both a green festive drink.

  “Bottoms up,” Jessica said.

  “You’re drinking?” Willow arched a brow at her friend.

  “Hey, bar’s not open.” Jessica shrugged and lifted one of the glasses.

  Willow gave in, picking up the other and clinking her drink to Jessica’s before throwing the liquor back. Unlike its sweet appearance, it burned going down.

  “Yuck, whatever that is, I don’t want another.” Willow shook her head.

  Jessica grinned. “It’s an acquired taste. So, what’s up?”

  Willow slid onto a stool while Jessica hopped up on the counter.

  “Keegan’s home,” Willow muttered.

  “I heard.” Jessica tilted her head. “Are you admitting you have feelings for him?”

  “It won’t work,” Willow said.

  “Why not?”

  She bit her lip.

  Jace.

  If he aired those pictures, her old reputation would come back to haunt her. Her uncle had stuck his neck out getting her hired. If those pictures showed up, would she be on the hook for that, too? Could she lose her job?

  “Care to share?” Jessica asked.

  “I like him a lot, Jess. It just won’t work. I can’t change who I am or how I used to be. That’s not something you can get away from.”

  “Sure you can.” Jessica shrugged. “Move.”

  Willow ran a hand back over her hair and tugged on her ponytail.

  Jessica let her legs hang over the bar next to Willow. “Okay, so I’m guessing there’s more to it…”

  “Keegan’s dad made me promise I wouldn’t ever do anything with him.”

  “Seriously? That’s lame, but whatever. Pastor Alden’s never been a big fan of my family. Pastor Alden and your reputation aside, what about Keegan? What about you? Is this what you want?”

  “I never really thought it was an option…”

  “Then you’re blind, because I’m pretty certain the rest of us were shocked you two didn’t get together in high school. There are some people who think you did.” Jessica leaned forward, suddenly serious. “Look, I listen to a lot of people come in here and talk about their lives. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that we regret what we didn’t do more than we regret what we did. I always thought you and Keegan went well together. You’re balanced. Don’t let anyone tell you he’s not for you because of bullshit reasons.”

  Willow swallowed and nodded.

  Deep down, she loved Keegan enough to let him go. But did she love him enough to hang on?

  It would mean squaring off with Pastor Alden and handling Jace.

  If she turned Keegan down, she might lose him as a lover and a friend for the rest of her life.

  In that moment she knew that wasn’t a future she wanted.

  Keegan was worth it. She just hoped she was strong enough for what came next.

  Keegan had a plan. A master plan.

  Okay, he’d surfed the internet for some ideas before doing errands for his mom and work. Still, after last night he felt like he had to be ahead of where he’d hoped to be with Willow.

  He jogged up to her front door at two minutes till four. The weather had cooperated and it was a sunny, fairly warm winter day topping out in the sixties.

  Before he got to Willow’s porch, the front door opened. She’d changed from when he’d seen her earlier. Her hair was down and she wore a figure-hugging sweater in bright blue that fell to the tops of her thighs. Her legs were encased in gray leggings and she had boots on.

  “Hey.” He came to a stop less than a foot away from her, holding back, content to follow her lead. She’d seemed bothered this morning.

  “Hey? That’s it?” She lifted her chin and studied him.

  Keegan didn’t have a smooth line. He didn’t even know what he should say.

  “Hey, beautiful.” His stomach did a flip as the words passed his lips. He’d thought them often enough but hadn’t said them. Until now.

  Willow’s slow smile eased his nerves. “That’s more like it.”

  Keegan edged in, crowding her back into the entry. “Is it?”

  She grabbed the edges of his coat and tugged him closer, lifting up at the same time. She planted her lips on his in a kiss he wasn’t prepared for. Not one bit.

  “That’s how you say hello,” she said against his mouth.

  “Close the door. Let me try that again.” He lifted a hand and cupped the back of her head.

  Willow laughed and smiled up at him, and damn if he didn’t feel like the luckiest guy in the world. “Where you taking me?”

  “It’s a surprise.” He offered her his arm.

  She linked arms with him and pulled her front door shut. “Seriously, where we going?”

  “You’ll see.”

  Keegan had considered his options long and hard before settling on a plan. He wanted today to be special, something he didn’t think anyone had ever done for her.

  They loaded up in the car and he pointed them west, out of town. They spent the time catching up on the local gossip and where their classmates were now.

  “We’re going to the Joneses’?” Willow asked as he pulled up to the gate barring entry to the Jones family property.

  “Not really.”

  He plugged the code in for the gate and eased the car down the driveway.

  Everyone knew the Joneses. Growing up they’d been another of the many lower-income farming families. The only difference was the boon of natural gas drilling. The family had made a literal fortune off shopping their rights and had used the money to benefit the whole clan and much of the town. They were the best kind of people.

  But Keegan wasn’t taking Willow to hang out with the Joneses.

  They wound their way back through the property, past herds of cattle to one of the back pastures. It was a picturesque place complete with a stock pond, rolling hills, and not another soul for miles around.

  “I thought we’d have a picnic. Just us,” he announced as he killed the engine.

  “Yeah? Okay.”

  Keegan didn’t let her lack of enthusiasm dampen his hopes for a nice meal. Over the years he’d listened to her drop tidbits of her dates with other guys, what she’d done. He didn’t want this to be like those dates. He wanted this to be theirs. Of course he couldn’t avoid activities she’d done with other men, but this one time he could be unique.

  He tipped his head down and looked at her. “Are you ready?”

  “To freeze my ass off? Sure.”

  “I thought of that. Wait here.”

  Keegan popped the trunk and got out. The Joneses had given him permission for this plan and even done him a solid. Near the stock tank sitting in a small, dug-out hollow was a fire pit neatly prepared with logs. Within moments he had a little fire going.

  Willow got out of the car and laughed. “Oh, I see what you did.”

  “But wait, there�
�s more.” Keegan went back to the trunk and pulled out several thick fleece blankets.

  Willow helped him spread the blankets out, then it was time for the food.

  “For the first course…” He took a bowl wrapped in towels to help keep it warm out of the trunk and brought it to the blankets with two forks.

  “Is that…? Did you bring mac and cheese out here?” Willow pulled the top off the dish and grinned.

  “I did.” He’d had to be sneaky what with his dad coming in and out of the house, but with Mom’s help, Keegan had managed to prep everything.

  Willow dug a fork into the bowl and popped a bite into her mouth. She groaned.

  “Oh, delicious carbs. How I’ve missed you.” She clutched her fork to her chest.

  “You don’t eat much in the way of carbs?”

  She shook her head as she took a second bite. “No, I mean, I’ve pretty much had to work twice as hard because my uncle is the chief of police. That means strict diet, stay in shape, ace every test.”

  Keegan studied her profile. “I’m proud of you.”

  She glanced at him. “Thank you.”

  “I mean it. You saw what you wanted and you went for it.”

  “So did you.”

  “Not really. Not like you. I mean, I had a general plan that I wanted to help people, I just didn’t know what that was going to look like. Dad still thinks I’ll be a preacher someday.” He stared off at the horizon.

  “You’ve never wanted that.”

  “No, but Dad doesn’t always listen.” Keegan had his own thoughts about God, religion, and spirituality that he wouldn’t share with his father. They hadn’t been fully formed until he went to seminary and figured out exactly what he believed.

  “Parents happy you’re home?” she asked.

  “Yeah.” He glanced at Willow and shook off thoughts of his father.

  She was looking at him funny with her spoon between her lips. He knew that look. She wanted to say something.

  Keegan waited, ready to be patient while she gathered her words.

  “I’m sorry about this morning,” she finally said.

  “Nothing to be sorry for.”

  “I didn’t reply to any of your texts and then I was weird when you came by.”

  “It’s okay, Will. I figured there would be some weirdness, but what matters is that we have each other, right?” He reached over and hooked his fingers into hers. “Last night changes things, hopefully in a good way.”

  Willow studied his face, her spoon forgotten on her lap.

  “There’s a lot of history, isn’t there?” she finally said.

  “Does any of it really matter?”

  “Maybe it should? Do you really think your family is going to accept me?”

  “I don’t care. I’ve felt this way about you for a long time. I just didn’t think either of us was ready. Then after I got hurt, I realized I was tired of waiting. My mom likes you just fine, and Dad? Well, we don’t share a lot of opinions. He doesn’t have to love you. I do.”

  Willow’s eyes widened.

  Crap.

  He’d just thrown the love word out there.

  Keegan didn’t shy away from her wide-eyed gaze.

  “You know it’s easy to get swept up listening to you when it’s just the two of us?” Her fingers tightened around his. “Let’s be real here. I know what people said about me growing up. Some people are always going to see me as a slut. Are you really okay with that? Before you say a blanket yes, really think about it, Keegan.”

  “It’s never mattered to me.” He frowned. “Why do you think you did it?”

  “Sex felt good.” She lifted a shoulder. “We were poor. People made fun of me. Those were all things out of my control, but my body was mine. And sex felt good. There isn’t a deep, dark reason why.”

  Keegan nodded. Deep down he could admit to a little jealousy. He wasn’t a saint. But all of that had come before now. And it truly didn’t matter to him, because in the end he wanted to be the one she picked. The one she came home to.

  “Can you look me in the face and tell me you’re okay with that?” she asked.

  “So long as I’m the only one you’re having sex with, yeah.”

  “Are we really doing this?” She tilted her head to the side.

  “I’m game if you are. The way I see it? We already have a great foundation. We’re friends. I know your secrets. You know mine. We just want more from each other.”

  Willow blew out a deep breath and stared into the fire. She still had a tight grip on his hand. The setting sun streaked the sky with a riot of colors, much like all the emotions he felt swirling inside of him.

  This wouldn’t be an easy relationship. He wasn’t naïve enough to believe that just because they both wanted each other it would magically work out. But he was more than willing to put in the work, to learn how to be a good boyfriend and maybe a husband someday.

  “Still hungry?” he asked.

  “You brought more?”

  Keegan grinned. “I might have made cowboy casserole.”

  Willow sputtered a laugh, then covered her mouth with her free hand, as if she could stifle the laughter. Instead she bent forward.

  They’d made it during one of the rare afternoons he’d gone to her house. When her parents hadn’t shown up, they’d raided the fridge and pantry for food. All she’d had was a pound of ground beef, black-eyed peas, rice, and barbeque sauce. They’d cooked it all, put it in a bowl, and sat on her back porch eating the strange mixture.

  Willow lifted her face and he saw tears shining in her eyes.

  “Hey, don’t do that.” He reached over and dragged her across the blankets to his side.

  Willow buried her face against his shoulder and held on tight.

  They knew each other’s secrets. Even the ones that hurt.

  After a long moment she lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at him. There was a wary hope in her eyes. He’d seen her look that way when she had some new secret wish that she’d only share with him. Now, he wanted her to trust him a little bit more.

  “I’m scared, Keegan. What if we don’t work out?”

  “What if we do?”

  He bent his head and gently kissed her there by the firelight under the Texas sky.

  This felt right, and he was going to do everything he could to show her they belonged together.

  4

  Willow stared up at the bed-and-breakfast. The place had more or less been vacant for most of her life. It was nice to see someone was breathing life into it.

  The mansion, as the locals liked to call the eight-bedroom house, had been a number of things over the years. A hotel. A mini-mall. It had housed summer classes and passed in and out of the town’s care since. And now it was a bed-and-breakfast.

  A yet-to-officially-open bed-and-breakfast, but with no other hotel in town, the powers that be turned a blind eye to the early renters. Like Keegan.

  Her car door opened and she turned her head to stare into his hazel eyes.

  “Still coming inside?” He held out his hand.

  Willow swallowed. Her joints seemed to be made of jelly all of a sudden.

  She was a wreck. First she’d cried over cowboy casserole, now she could hardly stand. It was the magic spell Keegan wove over her. It didn’t matter that she was the more experienced one between them, he made her breathless and weak at the knees.

  This wasn’t just about sex and pleasure. With Keegan it was so much more, and that scared her.

  She took his hand and let him pull her to her feet.

  He’d taken her fears in stride. He’d told her that her past didn’t matter. And she believed him. If she somehow managed to stop Jace from spreading those damn pictures and figured out how to stand up to Keegan’s dad, maybe they could be together?

  All of that was for tomorrow. Tonight she wanted to bask in this moment, the way she felt.

  Keegan led her up the steps and into the old house with its hand-carved d
oor and the frosted glass oval window. The inside of the house smelled of cinnamon and apples. Green garland decorated the old staircase climbing to the second floor. Small white Christmas trees gave the entry a festive feel.

  “Keegan, Willow, hey.” Ingrid stood in the living room with two drinks in hand, blinking at them or, more accurately, Willow, with open surprise.

  Willow pasted on a smile and steeled herself. Ingrid worked at the tea room where the Little Old Lady gang hung out and was therefore at the heart of much of the town gossip. Kasima and Olivia, the other two owners of the B and B, sat on the sofa. The trio was a few years older than Willow, but in a school as small as theirs everyone knew everyone.

  “Long time no see,” Kasima said, locking gazes with Willow.

  “Yeah. I heard you guys were busy up here.” She let herself glance around, taking in the light gray walls, the airy feel of the place with its mix of antique and modern decor. “It looks great.”

  “Thanks.” Ingrid beamed. “Grand opening’s this spring.”

  They traded a little chitchat about the renovations before conversation died off.

  Keegan tugged on Willow’s hand. “Well, good night, ladies. See you tomorrow.”

  She caught Ingrid’s raised brows.

  “You kids don’t stay up too late,” Kasima called out.

  Willow swallowed.

  The talk would begin immediately. She knew better than to think otherwise, especially with Ingrid involved. Before breakfast, chances were the town would know where she’d spent the night and with whom. There was no putting this cat back inside the bag.

  Keegan led her up the stairs to the second floor and to one of the rooms at the front of the house. Like the downstairs, the colors were light and airy, done in pale blue, mint green, and white with a few charcoal accents. The king-sized bed dominated the space with its yards of white linens.

  “Wow, this is seriously nice,” she said.

  Keegan tugged her coat down her arms. “You haven’t seen the bathroom yet.”