Smoke and Sin Page 29

  Suddenly, Gus threw herself in front of him, her arms spread wide as though trying to indicate she was harmless…or making herself their target. “Please don’t kill him. We can’t do what you need if you take him out.”

  That red laser dropped immediately, vanishing as though it had never splashed across his chest.

  What the hell had she done? She’d stepped in front of a maniac with a gun.

  Rage boiled up inside Roman. He reached for her and shoved her behind him. The cemetery was completely silent. Not even a breeze broke the still. He stood for a long moment, waiting for something more to happen.

  Nothing.

  It occurred to him that they were vulnerable out in the open. He had to get moving, to get Gus out of here. Then maybe he could return and comb the place for evidence.

  “How could you do that?” Gus asked, her voice a hushed, angry growl.

  “What? Because if we’re going to argue, I could ask you why the hell you put yourself in danger. I was trying to find out what in the hell is actually going on. What’s your excuse?” He wasn’t the bad guy here.

  Still gripping her hand tightly, he hauled them both back to the relative safety of the crypt’s shadows. At least their backs were protected here. Could he figure out how to open the door?

  “Don’t turn this on me. I tried to save you from your hot-headed stupidity. We were on our way to figuring this mystery out when you pulled your macho-asshole BS,” she hissed back. “She wasn’t leaving. She would have stayed and answered our questions. Well, my questions since mostly you acted impatient and insulted her.”

  “Gus, you have to see that she was manipulating us both. And she wasn’t alone.”

  “You don’t know that. She could have gotten out of the tunnel and found a perch. That laser sight would allow her a good range. If she ran and then managed to hear you screaming that you intended to chase her, she might have wanted to make you think twice about it.”

  “No, there was someone else.” He knew it. He’d felt eyes on him. “That’s why there have been three different contacts—because one person is pulling all the strings. I need to find out who that is. These Deep Throats are just pawns. I want my hands on the mastermind. I want to know what’s really going on.”

  Tears streamed down her face. “All right. You go do that. I’m going back to our room.” She walked down the steps before turning back to face those woods. “He’s all yours! Take him quick, though. He’s a baby when it comes to pain, and I don’t want to hear his screaming.”

  “Augustine! Get back here right fucking now.”

  In the moonlight he couldn’t mistake the way she lifted her arm and extended her middle finger. And she kept right on walking.

  She was going to get them both killed. He had no choice. He ran after her, wrapping a hand on her elbow.

  “How dare you walk away like that. Do you know what that bastard could do to you?”

  She pulled her arm out of his grip. “Whoever was out there didn’t want to kill anyone. That shot was a warning. You’re the one who turned a perfectly polite meeting into a potential bloodbath. You couldn’t hold it together for thirty minutes, could you? You couldn’t sit back and let me handle it.”

  “You weren’t handling it. You were letting that woman manipulate you. She was pointedly trying to drive a wedge between us.”

  “Yes, and we could have used that to find out information about her. We could have played into her hand and she likely would have told us something. Like what was different about this Deep Throat meeting. Like, if every time the mastermind sends out this informant character he tries to get the woman he’s contacting alone, why did he invite you this time?”

  “Because she knew I wasn’t going to be stupid enough to let you slip away.”

  “Oh, you’ve been stupid enough for everyone tonight, Roman. Are you going to call Connor and let him know about this clusterfuck of a meeting or should I? I assure you if I do it, you won’t like how you come off.”

  “I’m not calling anyone. We’re getting in the car and driving back to London tonight.” He wasn’t letting her anywhere near the danger again. No way. No how. She’d been every bit as reckless as he’d feared. He’d known she had that tendency, but he had hoped that age had brought her wisdom and tempered her recklessness. But no. She’d thrown herself in between him and a potential bullet.

  She turned on him. “What?”

  He hated the way she was looking at him, like he was an idiot. No, like a stranger. He hated that all their easy intimacy from earlier tonight had vanished. There was nothing he could do about that, but he could damn well take her in hand. If he didn’t, things could spiral out of control. What the hell would he do if Augustine got it in her head that Zack was the bad guy? She had a strong sense of justice and she would do something about it. That would put him squarely between his best friend and the woman he loved.

  He loved Augustine.

  Falling for her wasn’t the smart play, but then again this wasn’t a game. This was their life. He’d fought these feelings for too long.

  Be careful, Ms. Spencer. Calder will always choose Zack over you. Always. Even if it means your life. Haven’t you lost enough because of this man?

  Had he picked Zack the first time? Back then, he’d been sure he was merely a prisoner to his past. Had he wrapped all his problems up in one neat package he could understand? One in which he could assign appropriate blame? His parents had a rotten marriage and subsequently miserable lives, so he would have one as different from theirs as possible. Or had he really put distance between them because she distracted him? Had he chosen Zack and his ambition over her and his heart the first time?

  He approached her, wishing they were already back at the B&B, that they’d never left their cozy, romantic room tonight. If putting a rift in their relationship had been the plan, that woman had done her job well. “Gus, it’s too dangerous to stay here.”

  “I’m not going anywhere. If it’s gotten too rough for you, feel free to leave. I’m not giving up. I’m finding those recordings.”

  “No. Someone was in those woods.” He pointed to the tree line. “They nearly shot us.”

  “You. They nearly shot you because you were a massive asshole. There are rules to this game Deep Throat is playing and you broke them. I’m going to figure this out, then we can stop wondering who’s playing these terrible games with us and stop worrying about our safety. Once we’ve unmasked this person, we can be done with all this and finally move on.”

  What the hell was she talking about? Not an hour before he’d been sure they’d gotten past that whole fuck-you-out-of-my-system nonsense he was pretty sure she’d decided on. “This isn’t a game I’m playing and I’m not letting you get hurt. And I have no plans to move on.”

  She turned and started walking again.

  At least they were moving in the general direction of their room. He didn’t want to have this insane argument in the middle of a cemetery where someone was likely still watching them.

  He hustled beside her as she turned down the path toward their little cottage. “I’m sorry if I didn’t handle that as well as I should have, but can’t you see how manipulative she was being?”

  “You didn’t have to give in to it. Don’t you think some of the things she said bothered me, too? I ignored them to get to the information we needed.”

  “What if finding the nurse’s daughter is a trap?”

  “Did Deep Throat lead Everly or Lara into traps before?”

  He could answer that one. “Absolutely. They both almost died.”

  “But they got the information promised, right?”

  Roman went silent. She wasn’t listening to him. “We’ll find the information we need without being pawns.”

  She scoffed. “I was your pawn tonight, wasn’t I, Roman? You never meant to let me take the lead. You always planned on taking charge because you protecting Zack is way more important than me finding out why my father and two of my b
est friends are dead.” She refused to look his way, simply kept on walking. But he heard the tears in her voice. “Like I said, you go right back to London. I’ll handle it from here.”

  “If you think I’ll let that happen, you don’t know me at all.”

  “I should know you, shouldn’t I? After fucking everything you’ve done to me, I shouldn’t be surprised by this. But I am. I’m that idiot who still thought sex with you meant love, who thought you could actually care about me.”

  “Baby, I never said I didn’t. What is going on with you? I’ll admit I went too far back there and I’m sorry for it. But I don’t understand why you’re bringing our personal relationship into this. Gus, please stop and talk to me. I don’t want to fight with you.” He was at a loss. Something was going on inside her head. For the life of him, he couldn’t imagine what. He’d lost good friends, too. He had grieved Joy’s death. Mad’s death. She wasn’t the only one with a stake here. But there was more, something he didn’t understand. This anger was something much stronger, a deeper ache he could feel but couldn’t comprehend.

  She stopped at the cottage, stepping back to let him get to the door.

  The innkeeper had given them one key, and he’d taken it because it had felt like the natural thing to do. The reservation had been in his name. But he would have taken that key even if it had been in hers.

  Because he always had to be in control. In charge.

  Frowning, he shoved the key in and opened the door.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” she said, her voice tight. “If you believe I’m giving up now and letting you return me to London, you’re wrong.”

  The accusation in her voice put him on edge. She was the one who waited until the last minute to tell him about the meeting she should have shared with him the instant she’d received that text. She was the one who’d snuck away from the safety of London and nearly gotten herself arrested for searching the doctor’s office. But all fucking night he’d been the bad guy.

  “You’d be surprised at what I can do, Augustine. I can have you out of this country altogether if I choose to.” It might be for the best. He couldn’t think when she was around, and this conspiracy was a problem that required all of his attention.

  “Because you’re the one who chooses. Always.” Tears had sparked in her eyes.

  He hated that. She was Augustine Spencer. She didn’t let any man make her cry.

  Except him.

  He took a deep breath. “I don’t want to fight with you.”

  She sighed and turned to him. “Don’t you think I feel the same way? I’m tired of fighting you, Roman. Honestly, I might be tired of fighting, period. I think when we return to the States, I’ll take a friend up on her job offer and move to New York.”

  He closed the door and locked it, feeling as if she’d yanked the floor out from under him. “You have a job offer?”

  She hesitated. “Sara asked me to come and head up Crawford’s legal department. She’ll need a lot of help once the baby comes.”

  “Are you serious?” He had no idea she’d been talking to Gabe’s sister about a job. But then, she wouldn’t share something like that with him. She didn’t share much except her body.

  “Why does that surprise you?”

  He was quiet for a moment because once more they were on delicate terrain. For years, he’d been walking on eggshells around Gus. The last few days had been the exception, and he’d hoped that meant… Well, it didn’t look as if their relationship was going anywhere now.

  “I assumed Sara knew about you and Mad. That doesn’t bother her?”

  She rolled her eyes and sighed, letting him know that he’d missed the point again. “Of course she knew Mad and I had a past. Everyone knew. We didn’t try to hide it because we were adults who weren’t ashamed of our sexuality. Sara also accepts that we were really nothing more than friends, human beings who sometimes needed comfort beyond a hug.”

  “Naturally I’m the one who was ashamed,” he said with a bitter bite.

  “I don’t think you were ashamed of your sexuality, Roman. I think you were ashamed of me.”

  God, they were back to square one. Him trying to make things right, and Gus putting the worst spin on his words.

  Then again, she had an interesting point. Why hadn’t he been okay back then with his buddies knowing about her? About them?

  “It wasn’t like that. I didn’t want to upset Dax.”

  “I don’t buy that bullshit.” She ran a hand through her hair, shoving it away from her tense face. “And why would Dax be upset that I was dating one of his best friends? He trusted you. He considers you to be one of the smartest, most honorable people he knows. So why would he have a problem with you dating his sister? Unless, of course, you never intended to have anything but sex with me. Unless I was merely a way to pass the time until the demure June Cleaver of your dreams came along. Until you met Joy.”

  “I wish you hadn’t heard any of that,” he said quietly. “I don’t know what would have happened with Joy, but I don’t think it should affect what’s happening between you and me now. I don’t see how talking about her helps us at all.”

  “It doesn’t help, but it does put things into perspective. Roman, have you ever once thought about sending me a flirty text? How about pouring out your feelings to me on the Internet? Those must have been pretty impressive e-mails to her since someone wants to blackmail the president of the United States with them.”

  Frustration welled inside him. Why were they doing this? They had more important things to talk about, not some semi-emotional affair that had gone nowhere physically. “They weren’t, and I wouldn’t have thought about sending any to her if she hadn’t approached me first. I didn’t just start writing her love letters on a whim. I’m a guy and I don’t think to do those things. If you want the truth, I ignored her the first few times.”

  She kept on poking him. “Why? You liked her from the beginning, didn’t you? Did you fall for her a little on that very first double date with Zack? Did you want to switch places with him that night?”

  Damn, why did Gus never listen to a thing he said? She had some stubborn, compulsive need to be right. But in this case, she was so fucking wrong. He might have been a shit in the past, but he was trying to protect her now. And she kept bringing up the past. Every time he thought they’d moved beyond what had happened years ago, she circled right back, like a dog with a bone.

  He stopped in the middle of the quiet hallway. “The truth? I didn’t notice her at all. I can’t remember the name of the woman who was my date that night. I sat there that whole evening and wondered what you were doing.”

  He waited for her snappy comeback, but she’d fallen silent. Gus did that when she knew she was wrong. Or she’d done something wrong herself. “I’ve told you what I was doing that night. I gave you the truth. Quid pro quo. What were you doing right after our breakup? Or maybe the better question is, who were you doing, Augustine? Did Mad give you ‘comfort’ that night, too?”

  She flushed, her skin flashing bright red and her eyes narrowing. “You want to fucking know what I was doing that night, Roman? I was with Mad. I was with Mad all night.”

  He felt sick. He’d known it. Deep down he’d known the woman he’d been crazy about and one of his best friends had started their years-long fling that night. That was why she hadn’t returned his calls. She hadn’t been hurt, merely busy. And it also explained why Mad hadn’t spoken to him privately for a very long time. Yeah, he’d known she’d left his house that night looking for a little revenge.

  “Well, that doesn’t surprise me.”

  “Of course it doesn’t, Roman. You always knew what kind of a woman I am. You knew it then. Except I wasn’t in Mad’s bed that night.” Tears welled in her eyes, and she tossed back her head as if trying to will them away. “I was in the fucking hospital because I miscarried our baby.”

  She froze, eyes wide as she clapped a hand over her mouth as though she could somehow
shove the words back in.

  Roman stared, time seeming to stop. He knew it hadn’t, but everything seemed to slow until the world narrowed to one thing and one thing only.

  Gus had been pregnant? She had lost their baby that night?

  Oh, god. “It was the stairs. You tumbled down the stairs because I grabbed you too hard and…”

  It all fell neatly into place. He’d known something was wrong that night, something that went beyond the emotional pain he’d caused her. He’d wanted to follow after her, but he had ignored the impulse. Instead, he’d started drinking with Zack.

  While she’d been losing their baby.

  “I-I’m sorry, Roman.” The words came out of her mouth on a stutter. “I didn’t mean to tell you like that.”

  He didn’t know what to think, how to feel. The bombshell had smashed him. His brain raced, and he couldn’t move his body at all.

  “I don’t think you meant to tell me at all.” He’d done his best to sound steady, but he couldn’t stop his voice from shaking.

  He’d done that to her. He’d known he could hurt her with his words, but he’d been determined not to let her walk out of that house with the upper hand. He’d been so furious with Gus and he hadn’t thought about anything but continuing their fight.

  She’d paid the worst price imaginable.

  The whole fight flashed through his head as if it had happened yesterday. And he knew precisely why she’d done and said things that started the argument.

  But if I stay in DC, we don’t have to split up.

  “You wanted to take the job with Kleinman and Horne so we could stay together. So we could be a family,” he said as he realized the truth.

  Tears shone in her eyes, making them bright even in the low light. “I wanted you, Roman. Not only the baby. I wanted us to be together. I was in love with you. I didn’t tell you about the baby because I needed to know if you wanted me, too.” Her lips pursed as she seemingly collected her thoughts. “What would you have done if you’d known?”

  She thought he would have told her to take care of the “problem.” Of course she thought that. He hadn’t given her any reason to think otherwise. He’d actually told her that night that he didn’t want children. Yet he knew exactly what he would have done if Gus had divulged her pregnancy to him. He hadn’t changed that much. Yeah, he’d talked a good game back then, but he would have done the right thing. “I would have asked you to marry me.”