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  The trouble was Mad had truly become her friend, too. He was the only one of her brother’s friends who had. Mad was special, and not because they’d so briefly had sex in high school. Mad reminded her so much of herself sometimes that it felt like looking into a mirror.

  If only she could have fallen in love with him.

  “It’s not a scheme.” He stepped close, tangling his fingers with hers. The saddest look crept across his face. “You need someone to help you out with the baby. I need purpose in my life because let me tell you, the days are getting long and the nights are even longer. I might be a crappy role model, but I promise I’ll try. Come to New York and we’ll do what Zack and Roman are doing. We’ll build something together.”

  She shook her head, her heart so full. Why did everyone see him as some soulless party machine? Mad was one of the best men she’d ever met. What Roman hadn’t managed with his rejection, Mad was doing with his sweet offer. Tears rolled down her cheeks because at least someone cared about her. Which was precisely why she couldn’t take him up on it. “Mad, you’re going to fall in love one day and I won’t be the woman who keeps you from her.”

  Because no matter what anyone said about him, Mad would be faithful to his wife. If he had a family, it would take something terrible to make him break those vows.

  He shook his head. “No. I fell in love once and I wasn’t good enough for her.”

  “Sara was young back then.” She knew all about the summer he’d spent trying to get Gabe Bond’s sister to notice him. She also thought Sara had been too immature to see what Mad could offer. Or maybe too afraid to believe that sometimes love was worth the risk. “You don’t know that she won’t come around.”

  “Nah, she’ll marry some nice guy with a nice job,” he replied casually. “I’ll be the dirty boy she kissed once and was smart enough to tell to go to hell. She told me I was the devil, believe it or not. So what do you say? I think we should just fuck ’em all. Let’s show them how two badasses do life.”

  That was Mad. Arrogant. Sweet. Rebellious. Loving.

  She couldn’t let him do it. And she couldn’t marry another man when Roman the bastard was still in her heart. Sadly, he might always be.

  A pain low in her body started stabbing in earnest. Damn it. She was going to be sore in the morning. At least she hoped that was all. She should have been more careful, but she’d been so angry, and when she’d realized Roman was behind her, she’d lashed out.

  “Gus?” Mad had gone pale.

  She straightened up, forcing her shoulders back and her head high. It was time to go home and cozy up to ice cream, lay down and take care of herself and her baby. Tomorrow she would face a world without Roman. She could do it. She was strong. She would do whatever necessary to protect herself and her child.

  Then the world seemed to tilt, her equilibrium shifting. She felt nauseous. Maybe she should sit down.

  “Gus, baby, you’re bleeding. I have to get you to a hospital.”

  One minute she was thinking about how strong she was and the next, Mad was lifting her up and shoving her in his car.

  She was bleeding? The world was spinning. And all she could think about was that if she lost this baby, she’d be utterly and completely alone.

  She could hear Mad’s voice from seemingly far away, telling her everything would be all right.

  But it wouldn’t. As she passed out, all she wanted was to hear Roman’s voice, to feel his hand in hers.

  But she feared in her heart that she never would again.

  CHAPTER ONE

  Air Force Two

  Somewhere over Canada

  Augustine Spencer glanced out the window. No lights sparkled from this altitude, high above the cloud cover. Only inky blackness stretched across the sky. In a few hours the sun would rise, and they would be in London. She hoped the new day would illuminate everything necessary. But for now, she found comfort in the shrouding darkness. In it, she could feel without prying eyes. And in it, she could plot her next move because she had a job to do and she wouldn’t allow anything or anyone to stop her.

  Not even Roman Calder.

  “Is this seat taken?”

  She glanced up to find Connor Sparks standing over her. Ah, the most dangerous of the Perfect Gentlemen, as her brother and his besties had become known. Not that they would ever call themselves anything so silly as BFFs, but that’s what they were. If pressed, they might call themselves bros for life or something they’d deem appropriately masculine. They certainly believed in bros before ’hos.

  Or they had until recently.

  “I don’t think I can stop you,” she answered with what she hoped was a magnanimous smile.

  Connor sank down beside her, an earnest expression on his face. It wasn’t a look she normally saw the former CIA agent wear. “All you have to do is tell me to go and I will. I hope you won’t though. I’d like to talk to you about something.”

  Damn it. Whatever Connor had to say would almost certainly be about Roman. “Now that you’re working for Zack, I’m sure you have more than a few things to say.”

  And she would take whatever shit Connor or his pals dished out because she couldn’t afford to get fired now. She was so close to the truth.

  “It’s about Lara.”

  The unexpected topic made her sit up slightly, though she tried not to betray how much he’d surprised her. Lara Armstrong Sparks was Connor’s new bride. She was vibrant and adorable, if a bit of a naive crusader. At least that had been Gus’s first impression of the girl. Instantly, she’d wanted to wrap Lara up so she couldn’t get brutalized by the real, cold world. Gus had been skeptical the brunette would actually find her happy ending. But maybe she’d underestimated Connor’s bookish wife. So far, this little Belle seemed to have tamed her dangerous Beast of a husband.

  Under Connor’s watchful eye, Gus glanced over to find Lara in one of the seats typically used by the aides, all curled up with a blanket, eyes closed.

  “Why didn’t she use the suite?” Air Force Two was smaller but still had the trappings of a luxury jet. This particular modified 747 had a presidential suite located under the cockpit, where the president and First Lady would shower, dress, and sleep—even hit the small gym, if they were so inclined. “Zack’s not here, and Roman never sleeps anyway. I’m fairly certain he made a deal with the devil for that advantage.”

  Connor flushed slightly. “She thinks it’s wrong that the aides are forced to sleep in their seats while the president of the United States slumbers in luxury at the taxpayers’ expense. So she’s sleeping upright and hunched over in solidarity with the working man.”

  Gus had to smile. Some of those aides came from the wealthiest families in the world. Oh, many of them were super-hard workers, but they were also the elite of the elite.

  And Lara Sparks thought she would stand up for their rights. Sheltered little girl.

  But even if Lara’s protest was a bit silly, nothing in the world softened Gus up quite like the underdog or someone willing to stand up for them. “Good for her. It’s refreshing to see someone give a damn about something other than politics around here.”

  “My wife is different. She genuinely cares, but she hasn’t figured out that the world doesn’t work the way she wants it to. I know I should have left her at home, but she wanted to come with me and I…”

  “Couldn’t say no.” She felt her lips tug up into a smile. The mighty Connor Sparks had been felled by a quirky, big-hearted girl. It was almost too much to fathom…and yet from what Gus had seen, they were perfect together. Balanced each other. Deep down, she was a bit envious.

  Then she realized why Connor Sparks was probably sitting in front of her. Why he would take time from his solemn duty to talk to her. He was warning her off his wife. “Well, I hope you both have fun in London. I’ve got a crazy schedule, so I won’t have much time to socialize. You don’t have to worry about me.”

  His intentions bothered her more than she’d imagined. Hurt
, actually. She’d grown up with Connor. He’d always been Dax’s best of the besties. Then again, she’d also drifted away from everyone but Mad after… Well, after Roman.

  In fact, she’d surprised herself by taking the job with the White House. Sure, she’d helped with the campaign. But when she’d been offered the position as second in command at the press office—working so closely beside Roman—her first thought had been to tell Zack to fuck himself, then suggest he fuck Roman, too. But they had been way too smart to ask her themselves. No, the bastards had sent Joy, knowing that Gus had never, ever been able to say no to her sweet friend. Joy, one of her best friends. Joy, who would have been First Lady if she hadn’t been killed. Joy, whom she suspected Roman had truly loved.

  “Of course you have a full schedule,” Connor conceded. “But I was hoping Lara could help you. I’ve got some things to do and I can’t take Lara along. Can she…I don’t know, act as your assistant?”

  Gus let out a breath of surprise. So he wasn’t warning her away? “What?”

  “Hear me out. She’s incredibly smart. And…I’m worried that some of the aides are going to be mean to her. She doesn’t keep her opinions to herself and her politics don’t exactly align with the others around here.”

  Because this world was cutthroat and ruthless, and every single one of those aides would rip a heart out if they thought it would get them one step higher on the ladder.

  Suddenly, Gus felt a little more protective and determined to preserve Lara’s illusions.

  “Is it true she runs Capitol Scandals?”

  Connor’s eyes flared, then he chuckled. “I should have known you would figure that out. Yes.”

  That adorkable girl ran one of the trashiest rags in DC. Of course, it also published some real, in-depth stories. Likely, Lara tried to clickbait people in by posting stories on the president’s love life in the hopes she could educate them on more pressing matters once she’d lured them to the site. Gus doubted the ploy worked, but she admired Lara’s hustle. “If she wants to follow me around, I can use the company most days, but I do have a few…plans that require privacy.”

  He frowned. “You’re meeting a man?”

  Nope. She was doing something far more important. She was going to avenge a friend—even if that meant bringing down her boss. But she couldn’t exactly tell Connor that. “You know I have friends in lots of places.”

  Gus also had a reputation, so she knew what Connor would assume. In this case, it worked to her advantage. If she had a twinge about the fact that Dax’s bestie assumed she was blithely hopping into bed with a random guy, Gus shoved it down. Her friends knew who she was. Her mom and her brother accepted her. She refused to give a shit what anyone else thought. They could get on board or go to hell.

  “I understand.” He was quiet for a moment, his eyes lingering somewhere on the floor as though he was trying to decide how to proceed. “Have you ever thought about cutting Roman some slack?”

  Before she could think to temper the response, she shot back at him. “Every day. I think about how much rope it would take for that man to hang himself.”

  Connor grimaced. “Wow. Okay. Look, I know something happened between you two a long time ago. But I think he’s still attracted to you.”

  She scoffed, laughing hard at those words. A few heads popped up around her, disgruntled expressions crossing the faces of sleepy aides nearby.

  Gus lowered her tone. “I seriously doubt that. Roman and I had a fling a long time ago. He’s over it. I’m over it. He made it plain that I wasn’t the kind of woman he wanted for more than a good time. He’s searching for a shy flower who will tend his home fires, never raise her voice to express an opinion of her own, and accept the fact that he’s married to Zack in all ways but sexually.”

  “You think so? I wonder how he hasn’t managed to find his beacon of virtue yet.”

  “Oh, he did. Unfortunately, she married his best friend, got shot, and died.”

  A long moment passed, and Gus felt her stomach turn. She’d loved Joy. The truth was already ugly enough, so why had she added such a biting tone? Stress and having Roman so close…but so far away. He always brought out the worst in her.

  She looked Connor’s way, not even trying to stop the tears that flooded her eyes. That was one thing she’d learned after all the bad stuff. Some tears were simply unstoppable. Rather than trying to save face, it was better to worry about things that truly mattered. She was kind and loving, even if most people didn’t know that. And she’d treasured Joy’s friendship. She would never again give others a cold shoulder because Joy’s death had taught her that life was short. She especially refused to bristle over some asshole who couldn’t love her.

  “I’m sorry,” she murmured. “That was terrible and I didn’t mean it. I loved Joy very much. Please forgive me.”

  He leaned over and patted her hand. “There’s the Gus I remember. You know, one of the things I always adored about you was that you could be a bitch from hell when necessary, but you have a sweet, gooey center. It’s why I want you to look after Lara. She’s a bit lost.”

  Having her gooey center on display was uncomfortable, but she also wouldn’t take it back. She refused to change who she was.

  But she did have some tough choices to make. Long ago she’d decided that action was better than reaction. Action was a step taken, based on who else was in the situation and how much she knew or trusted that person. Reaction was dependent solely on how someone else made her feel in a given moment, which was rarely ever wise or a proper representation of herself.

  Therefore, she acted. She did not react.

  Connor’s slip of a wife rose and stretched, then shuffled beside her husband, her ridiculously lush dark hair flowing all around her shoulders as she yawned. “Connor? Are we there yet?”

  Action. The woman in front of her, though misguided, seemed kind and well-intentioned. That meant something to Gus. And in truth, Connor had never wronged her. Her beef was solely with Roman.

  “We’re still hours away, Connor’s Beauty. You should totally throw the patriarchy out of the presidential suite and get some sleep for the proletariat.” Gus winked. She could speak liberal.

  Lara’s eyes had widened. “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

  She looked so tired and she obviously wasn’t used to this fast-paced lifestyle. If Gus could say a few well-placed words and get the girl comfy enough to sleep, all the better. “Well, no woman has slept in that taxpayer-enabled suite since Zack took office.” She leaned in. “At least not one he didn’t pay. You should take it for all the sisters. And come to think of it, Connor here has been an underpaid warrior for our country for years, and what did he get? Craptastic motel rooms all across the Third World. You haven’t seen a shit-hole until you’ve been to the Sudan.”

  “Then we have to claim that space for America,” Lara said with a grin, looking her husband’s way. “I’ll meet you there.”

  Connor smiled as Lara strode toward the front of the plane, then disappeared. “You want to give me notes on how to handle my wife?”

  He was happy. She missed the cocky, unapologetic Perfect Gentlemen sometimes, but it was good to see so many of them in love. It made her ache for the future Mad would never have. The hole his absence left was a hollow, gaping pang every day.

  It also made her wonder if Roman would choose a wife and settle down soon. Gus didn’t know how or if she could handle it.

  “Sure,” she teased Connor. “I’ll even type them up for you. And don’t worry about a thing in London. I know Roman thinks I’m going to cause trouble, but I really do have other things to do besides hang around and give him a hard time. Besides, he’s seeing that chick from the British Embassy while we’re here anyway. She’ll keep him plenty busy.” Gus tried to ignore the burn in her belly. “So if you’re worried I’ll play the jilted lover, the last place I want to be is on his radar.”

  “You both say things like that, yet neither one of you has e
ver married,” Connor mused.

  “Well, Roman has impossible standards, and I have a demanding career.” If there was one thing she’d learned early, it was that men didn’t like women with demanding careers, especially if the woman was smarter than their testosterone-laden counterpart. So she’d taken to viewing the men around her as chess pieces. Or if they were excellent in bed, playthings. That’s all. “I’m afraid I’m married to the White House.”

  “And when Zack moves on?” Connor asked quietly.

  She was always a girl with a plan. “Then I take on consulting work and make an incredible amount of money. Why the sudden interest in my future?”

  Connor sat back. “You know, I suppose a man gets to a certain age or a certain place in his life, and he looks back, wonders where things went wrong. You know what I’m talking about, right? I’ve been reflecting, trying to pinpoint where things turned. We were friends, Gus. And then we weren’t.”

  She didn’t like the sudden turn of this conversation. “It’s hard to be friends with a man who spends most of his time in classified locations doing things I’m not allowed to know about.”

  “Don’t bullshit me, Gus. I would come home—and yes, by home I mean your home in New Orleans. One Thanksgiving we were fine, and the next you were cold and rebuffed my every attempt to talk to you. At the time I thought you disapproved of my job, but then I realized you’d stopped talking to all of us for about four years. Except Mad. Eventually, we started seeing you again, slowly and in small doses. But I’m not really sure what happened.”

  Okay, so maybe she didn’t appreciate the softer, more caring Connor Sparks after all. The hardened spy had at least stayed out of her business.

  She gave him a smile because the drama of all that tragedy was behind her, and sometimes the truth was the best way to hide a secret. “I’m sure you know that Roman and I spent a hot year together. When he finished law school, I suggested we make it official. He declined. We argued. It wasn’t pretty.” She shrugged as if age and wisdom had given her immense perspective, so she could dismiss that girl of her past. “I struggled with my embarrassment.”