The Edge of Dominance: DOMS OF HER LIFE: Raine Falling (Book 4) Page 4

  “Yes…” Raine murmured as Liam nipped her ear and plucked at her nipple. “I’ve missed you both.”

  “We’re here with you now, love,” Liam whispered. “Let us take care of you.”

  Yes, Raine deserved to be made love to. But try as Hammer might, he couldn’t slow down, couldn’t wait to have all of her again.

  Sinking his teeth into her other dark berry nipple, he gave it a tug. Raine cried out and arched. Still, it wasn’t enough. His inner beast demanded more.

  Withdrawing his fingers from her pussy, he licked her tart cream. Instantly, Liam scooted between her legs and covered her pretty pink folds with his mouth. In the spill of soft light, Raine flushed and closed her eyes, squirming against his busy tongue.

  Hammer watched. The erotic sight had him shuddering. He knelt near her head, fisting his cock as he saw the pleasure ripple over her face. Christ, he loved seeing her so lush and uninhibited. So theirs.

  “His tongue feels good, doesn’t it, precious?”

  “Yes,” she whimpered, lifting her heavy lids. “More. I’ll give you and Liam anything you want.”

  “Anything?” Hammer taunted.

  She nodded frantically, eyes pleading for the ecstasy they could choose to grant…or deny.

  “Open your mouth for me, Raine.”

  With a hungry stare, he watched the tempting bow of her lips part. He braced his palm against the headboard, feeding her every thick, hard inch. The feel of her sinful mouth made his balls draw up and shot tingles of pleasure up his spine.

  “Yeah. That’s it. Suck me deep. Hard.”

  She worked his shaft with her eager little tongue. Basking in the bone-melting sensations, Hammer closed his eyes and gripped the corner of the headboard, craving something he hadn’t had the chance to do to her in months…

  Yanking open the drawer of the nightstand, he jerked a bundle of silk rope free, then dragged himself from her mouth. Instantly, he missed her sweet worship but vowed he’d be buried inside the snug clasp of her pussy in a handful of seconds.

  “I need you under me, bound. Immobile,” he muttered roughly as he gathered her hands above her head, winding the length of rope around her wrists with an urgent tug. “At my mercy.”

  As he tightened the restraints and began securing her to the bed frame, Raine froze. Her eyes flew wide, pupils dilating at lightning pace.

  “No! Stop.” She thrashed like a wild thing, shoving against his restraints, kicking, tossing her head, wailing. “Stop. God, stop! Paris!”

  She’d safeworded out. Hammer’s inner beast heeled instantly. Stunned, he unwound the ropes. His guts liquefied.

  Between her legs, Liam sat back on his heels. They shared a glance. His Irish friend looked as stricken as he did. Two months ago, Raine had loved rope and cuffs—anything that put her under their command. Back then, the moment restraints touched her skin, she’d melted.

  Now, she seemed terrified almost beyond solace.

  Hammer tossed the silk rope away, out of sight. She still looked pale and shaken and afraid.

  “It’s all right, love.” Liam crouched over her. “No one will hurt you.”

  “Take a deep breath.” Hammer’s command was a quiet lash above their harsh breaths. “The restraints are gone. No more. Focus on us.”

  She blanched, tore away from him, and curled onto her side.

  Hammer felt as if he’d been kicked in the balls. He should have fucking learned all the things not to do after his late wife, like getting drunk on power and giving in to his impulsive needs. Why did he seem so hell bent on repeating the past?

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  As one, he and Liam moved to surround her, holding her close, giving her their body heat and reassurance.

  From the moment she’d entered his life, Hammer had made it his mission to know everything about Raine. Her menstrual cycle. The brand of her favorite citrusy shampoo. Her loathing of pickles. The movies that made her cry. Her every dirty fantasy and “secret” crush. Every achievement. Every regret. Every expression that accompanied every one of her moods. He’d missed nothing…until now.

  He’d been feeling unworthy since he put Juliet in the ground eight years ago. In some ways, this failure hurt just as fucking bad.

  “Raine,” Liam murmured. “Sweetheart, talk to us.”

  She didn’t respond to his words. Her body merely bucked with a silent sob.

  That didn’t deter Liam, and Hammer kept his mouth shut. Right now, Raine didn’t need him commanding her to open up. She needed Liam’s compassion. When their girl crawled into her head, he turned into the Raine whisperer.

  Hammer stilled to watch.

  “You’re safe with us. At home. Can you hear me, love?” Liam spoke the words so gently. “Follow the sound of my voice. Do it now.”

  She stilled, hiccupped, blinked up at Liam.

  “Good girl. Now tell us how you feel.”

  “Mortified.” She sucked in a wrenching breath. “I kicked you. Oh, god. I’m sorry.”

  Liam shook his head. “Don’t be. We understand.”

  “I don’t. What happened? One minute I was melting between you. The next, I needed to fight.”

  Hammer’s guts tightened. “Did you see Bill in your head?”

  “No.” She sat up, backed away, bringing her knees to her chest. “But I felt that fear again. It screamed that if I let myself be restrained, I would die.” Apology softened her eyes. “I thought I was ready for anything but…”

  “You’re not, and I’m the one who’s sorry,” Hammer insisted. “I bound you and dredged up your fear. Jesus, if I’d known…”

  “You can’t blame yourself,” Liam said. “That’s why it’s called a hidden trigger.”

  Who else could he blame? “I would never intentionally push you past your limits, precious.”

  She stared down at her kneecaps. “Being restrained is one of the things I’ll work on with my therapist, but what just happened is no reflection of my need to submit or my feelings for you.”

  Hammer worried she wanted that to be true more than it actually was. The one bright ray was that she had communicated her fear and its reason—something Juliet had never done. Something Raine had never been good at in the past. She’d made amazing progress.

  “There now, love,” Liam reassured as he drew Raine into his arms. “We don’t need to tie you up to give you pleasure…or let you make us feel good.”

  “I don’t know when I’ll be able to handle restraints again, but I’ll keep trying.” She clung, her voice shaky but resolved. “It hurts me because I know it disappoints you both.”

  After what she’d been through, she was worried about disappointing them? Fuck, he was the bastard here.

  “You haven’t disappointed us at all,” Liam crooned.

  She tried to smile but looked as if her perceived shortcomings were ripping her in two. “I’m sorry I killed the mood.”

  Hammer brushed his fingers through her inky mane and muzzled the howling beast inside him. “You were scared. Don’t apologize.”

  “Can I fix you a nice breakfast? Apple spice muffins and date scones? I know it’s not sex, but maybe we could snuggle.”

  Yes. Raine’s love of baking had always been her go-to escape when the pressures of life overwhelmed. She spoiled them both with her sweet delights.

  “I’d appreciate you sending me off to the club with my favorite muffins and your affection,” Hammer assured.

  “Why don’t you go downstairs and get started?” Liam suggested. “I’d like to clean up a bit before I join you.”

  That was Liam’s code for let’s talk.

  “Same here.” Hammer sent Raine a reassuring smile and kissed the top of her head. “We’ll just be a few.”

  “I’ll get some coffee brewing.”

  “That will bring us down sooner.” Hammer managed to wink.

  After Raine left the room, he escaped to the shower to clear his head. Despite the ho
t spray loosening the muscles of his neck and shoulders, his hangover reasserted itself. Unfulfilled need still churned in his cock. Yeah, it was going to be another shitty day.

  By the time he stepped out of the bathroom and tossed on some clothes, Hammer found Liam waiting just outside the door expectantly in a pair of sweat pants, wearing a frown.

  “Any idea what the hell happened there?” He thumbed in the direction of the bed.

  Liam shook his head. “I’m a bit shocked, too. She’s done well with spanking. I’ve held her down here and there. But I confess, I’ve avoided bondage because I worried about her reaction.”

  Hammer wished he’d been thinking with his logic, not his lust. “Everything was perfect until I brought out the fucking ropes. I should have been more cautious since Bill tied her down and damn near raped her. I’m sorry, man.”

  “Don’t blame yourself. Neither of us knew for certain she’d react that way.”

  “I wanted to get her under me so badly I just didn’t fucking think. I’ve taken ten steps back with her.” Hammer paced restlessly. “She doesn’t trust me anymore.”

  “That’s not true.”

  Sure it was. “Raine has never once shut me down. If she trusted me, she’d never worry I’d hurt her the way her fucking psychopath father did.”

  “You’re being too hard on yourself.”

  Hammer tried not to scoff as he grabbed his keys and shoved them in his pocket. “I need to get my head on straight. I’m going to the club. Tell Raine I’m sorry I missed breakfast.”

  Anger flared across Liam’s face. “If you leave now, you might as well tell her you blame her for this morning and she’s not worth your effort.”

  “What? I need time to figure out how to make this right.” But deep down, Hammer feared if he looked across the breakfast table and saw the accusation in Raine’s eyes, it would tear out his heart.

  “To her, you’ll just be absent when she needs you again. But because you haven’t worked through your past, you’d rather flee like a coward.”

  Hammer froze. “You’re full of shit.”

  “I’m right. No one knows you better than I do. So I know you’re blaming yourself now. Just like I know you’ll stay half the night at Shadows to avoid facing your problems. I also know you’ll miss Raine like mad.” Liam poked a finger in his chest. “You’ll try to cure your blue balls by jacking off. We both know it won’t work because your hand is no substitute for our woman. But while you’re polishing your knob, think about the fact that I’m sinking deep inside Raine, drinking in all her pleasure. You could be joining us and feeling her love for you—if you’d grow a pair.”

  Macen clenched his jaw and headed for the door. He hated Liam for being right.

  “Yeah? Good for you. Just make sure when you’re done fucking Raine, you have enough energy left to go fuck yourself.”

  Chapter 3

  Raine stepped out of the pantry holding a bag of flour and a tub of shortening, hoping some home-cooked goodness would put a smile on Hammer’s face. Hearing that he felt responsible for anything her violent excuse of a father had done made her ache to soothe him.

  So did her reaction to his restraints. They all connected when she submitted to the heady Dominance he and Liam gave her. After fractured months apart, they needed to cement their bond again. God knew she missed their touch, craved their pleasure and tender pain. But this morning’s fear of rope had been real and instantaneous. Not something she could have controlled.

  So where did that leave them?

  Before she could ponder the question, rapid footsteps pounded across the kitchen floor. The door to the garage slammed shut. Moments later, the engine of a car revved. Dread slashed through her. She peeked out and saw Liam standing in the middle of the room, looking both frustrated and madder than hell.

  When the sound of the car grew fainter until it disappeared, her heart sank. “He left, didn’t he?”

  Liam turned to her, his dark eyes softening. His expression said he wished like hell he didn’t have to answer her. “Sorry. I tried to talk to him. I probably said some things I shouldn’t have.”

  “It’s my fault.” She pressed her lips together, feeling her dreams of a happy life with the two men she loved slipping away. “I didn’t mean to freak out.”

  “His behavior has nothing to do with that.”

  Of course it did. This morning, she had allowed herself to hope they could talk out their problems and finally be happy. Being surrounded and touched by them had felt almost like their idyllic days at the lodge—until she’d halted everything. “I’ll call the therapist when the office opens and find out if she can see me today.”

  Liam took the ingredients from her arms and set them on the nearby counter, then grasped her hands. “Raine, I just said he’s not upset about the ropes. And it’s not you. He loves you.”

  For years, Hammer had taken care of her, protected her. He’d wanted her like hell once. Sometimes he still did. But it seemed as if everything had changed after… “I’m worried he’s going to leave us for good.”

  Liam led her to the table. “I need to tell you something. I wish Hammer would have ’fessed up himself. I thought he might when we were last at the lodge. But the way he’s acting, I’m not sure he’s faced it yet so he can.”

  “About his past? I asked him—”

  “He told you the bare bones. If you’ll listen, I’ll tell you the bit you really need to know. Not his whole life story, mind you. Hammer told me that once when he was shitfaced while we lived in New York. But what I have to say affects all of us.”

  With her heart in her throat, she glanced at the beginnings of the breakfast she’d planned. Did it even matter now? Liam wouldn’t mind simpler fare, and she had lost her appetite. “All right.”

  He sank down beside her, turning her chair to his. “He’s drowning in guilt, and not simply because he failed to rescue you.”

  “Then why else? Because he may have gotten me pregnant? We don’t know for sure who fathered the baby, and I don’t care.”

  “We don’t, either. That’s nothing to do with it.” Liam sat back. “I have to go back a decade. Can you bear with me? It’s still hard.”

  Raine knew where this was going. As much as she didn’t want to hear it, she needed to. “I’m listening.”

  “Some of this you may know…” He paused, seeming to gather his thoughts. “Hammer and I met ten years ago at Graffiti, a BDSM club in New York. I was new to the lifestyle and learning all I could. One night, he approached me about topping Juliet while he watched. I agreed. Things went well, so he invited me to join them in the bedroom. We shared her for a year and a half.”

  “That long?” Raine always imagined the flame had burned fast and hot before being snuffed out tragically.

  “Well, I stayed on more than I might have because Hammer is the brother I never had and I didn’t want to lose that. But our relationship with Juliet was nothing like the one we share with you. I deferred to Macen because she was his wife. I never agreed to be exclusive with them.”

  “Did you want to be?”

  He shook his head. “I cared for Juliet. I didn’t love her.”

  That was a guilty relief, but Hammer was still hung up on his wife. His feelings for her must run so deep even now. Raine bit back a cry. How was she supposed to compete with a ghost?

  “When Juliet committed suicide, I was in Miami on business. Before it happened, I’d decided to stay an extra week because the weather was warm and the club scene was fantastic. For years afterward, I wondered if my absence had anything to do with her decision to end her life. Or if not having my heart hurt her too much. I never knew. But Hammer told me this past Thanksgiving.”

  She remembered that awful day—the stilted dinner, the migraine, the misunderstanding. The argument between him and Macen. The blame. And the two of them yelling at one another, surrounded by a sea of broken dishes. At the time, Raine had assumed their disagreement was about her.

 
“So you fought that night in the kitchen about Juliet?” That shouldn’t hurt…but it did.

  He nodded. “I waited to tell you this because I hoped Hammer would do it himself. But he won’t. Hell, he’ll barely talk to me. And you need to know.”

  Though the suspense was eating at her, Raine wondered if she was ready for the truth. “What?”

  Liam dragged in a breath. “Juliet was eight weeks pregnant. Neither of us had a clue.”

  Raine’s heart stopped. “Did she?”

  “She left a note saying she couldn’t handle the shame of not knowing who had knocked her up.”

  Then Juliet had swallowed a bottle of pills.

  A million feelings raced through Raine. Shock. Horror. Sadness. Empathy. Both men had assured her they were looking forward to watching her belly swell and filling their house with children. After Liam’s admission, she wondered if Hammer’s excitement was less pure.

  “So he’s using me and our baby to heal his wounds?”

  “No.” Liam squeezed her hands. “That’s not what I’m saying, love. Neither of us wanted you pregnant simply to fix the past or repeat a pattern. We’re certainly not playing a game. Just because the babe you carry isn’t the first between us doesn’t mean he or she will be any less special in our eyes.”

  Liam was right, and she had to stop letting insecurity run away with her. Knee-jerking with her emotions and not thinking before she reacted was an old pattern and always complicated the situation.

  “Sorry. That was an unfair question.”

  “But an understandable one.” He caressed her face. “Raine, you’re so special to us. There’s no comparison, so don’t think otherwise.”

  “I’ll try.” Raine knew she’d have to work hard at that.

  “I know you will.”

  She tried to absorb Liam’s story, but there was one thing she simply couldn’t understand. “What kind of woman could end her child by ending her own life? I don’t mean to pass judgment but…”

  “Juliet had problems. I doubt she even thought about the babe when she made her choice.”